Michael Jesso’s Fabulous, Derailed - Plus Tommy Gun’s Products
This year on Valentine’s Day, instead of buying a box of chocolates, might I suggest a box of condoms instead? After all, they do come in chocolate flavour.
It turns out that classic old Valentine card that read, “I choo choo choose you” has turned into “I choo choo choose you and you and you and you, you’re alright too, you’ll do...I’m drunk.” While couples love to celebrate together, the singles will be out in full force with one thing on their minds.
Just like not getting a New Year’s kiss sets the tone of the year, not getting any on Valentine’s could bring seven years bad luck. The problem this year, as with previous years, is that Sexually Transmitted Infections are on the rise (if you’re a product of the 70’s 80’s and 90s, STI is the new word for STD) with good ole Gonorrhea and Syphilis neck-in-neck for the number one spot; how competitive of them!
Part of the problem is social media apps like Tinder, Grindr, POF and Ashley Madison helping people get their quick fix of whatever they are into. I say part of the problem, but really it’s not part of the problem at all. There is only one problem, people not using condoms. I hear guys talk to their buddies all the time about how they hate them and never use them but have a real fear of infections. It’s interesting because pregnancy is usually last on the list of fears.
If you don’t have any fears, let me give you some: 3,400 cases of Gonorrhea alone in 2015, and that number has risen every year. Here’s something even scarier: there is a rise in HIV-positive patients diagnosed with Chlamydia, Gonorrhea or Syphilis, suggesting more of those people are participating in unsafe sex. What happened to protection?? It’s like driving a car without a seatbelt and the airbag turned off. Why??
Recently I was having a conversation with a friend who told me about a recent short change he had. He started off drinking early in the evening with buddies and ended up heading out to a bar. They met some girls that they knew and after a couple more drinks he ended up having unprotected sex in the handicap bathroom at the bar. (Or as many refer to them, hotel rooms). Five minutes later, back at the table for more drinks and the night moves on. Fast forward three hours and everyone is at a house party where he meets another girl and has more unprotected sex in someone’s bedroom who is on nightshift. Now he felt like crap, he was drunk and not thinking, and worried.
But my question was, “Why are you more worried because you had two different people in one night than say when you go out on days off and sleep with three people in a week?” The “What if I have something look” on your friend’s face is nothing to laugh or giggle about. Of course my next question was, “Why don’t you use condoms?” to which the reply was “I wear skinny jeans, everyone will know I have one in my pocket,” and, “I don’t have a nightstand, it would be easier to reach for a condom if I had a nightstand.”
After a quick stop at the clinic and The Brick, all is good, but it could have had a different ending. Take a minute and let your mind wander to just how many people the three of them could have possibly slept with, if everyone was this easy to get down and dirty with no condom. That’s a sexual tree with a lot of leaves, my friends. It’s not just the guy’s fault, it’s not just the girl’s fault either.
Maybe it’s my age but I really don’t understand why it would be big deal if people knew you were carrying a condom. It’s probably the most responsible thing you can do for yourself. Another area people are afraid of is going to get tested. They are embarrassed at the idea of someone seeing them in there. Most STI clinics run in normal doctors offices for starters; people are in there for everything, you don’t know what anyone is in there for just like they don’t know what you are there for. If going to get tested bugs you that much, ask a friend to come with you. That’s what friends are for.
We have a couple of options in Fort McMurray to get tested:
Fort McMurray Public Health
113 Thickwood Blvd (next to Tim Hortons)
After Hours Clinic in the River City Centre
#327, 8600 Franklin Ave
There is also a walk-in clinic for teens on Monday at this location, http://www.wbpcn.ca/Services/TeenSexualHealth/ for more info.
Tommy Gun’s Products
Great for getting Valentine’s Day date-ready, or just looking good all the time, Tommy Gun’s is the place to go for products that will take your look to the next level! Here are just some of our favourites!
Layrite Natural Matte Cream 
Holds hair without feeling like it’s there! A lightweight, water-based shaping cream that adds texture with flexible, all-day hold.
Layrite Original Pomade 
Our extremely versatile Original Pomade provides excellent all-day hold for short, fine, or normal hair and can be used to create put-together or messy styles with a medium shine.
Layrite Cement Hair Clay 
A high hold, water-based styling clay that delivers a clean, matte finish that will last all day. Grips and binds individual hairs together to thicken and shape, creating dry, messy textured looks or volume with extreme fullness and definition. Ultimate performance Cement will stand up to anything, yet washes out easily and won’t leave build-up behind.
Layrite Super Hold Pomade 
Use Layrite Superhold Pomade to sculpt extremely curly hair, course hair, and thick hair or to create high-elevation men’s hairstyles that require extreme hold. Superhold is nearly identical to our Original Pomade but contains water-based beeswax to increase hold. Insider tip: Use it to tame and shape your mustache for a hold that lasts for hours.
Layrite Super Shine Hair Cream 
The name says it all, you want high shine...this is it. And we’ve kept the high hold that you expect from Layrite using our water-based formula that washes right out. Use to create a straight, sleek look, to shine up your pomp, or to soften naturally curly or wavy hair.
ARLINGTON PRE-SHAVE LOTION 
Part of the classic D.R. Harris Arlington range, lightly scented with citrus and fern, our pre-shave lotion will soften your facial hair and prepare your skin for the ultimate, smooth, close shave. Apply to the skin immediately prior to shaving (wet or dry).
ARLINGTON SHAVING MAHOGANY BOWL 
D. R. Harris Arlington shaving soap is solid white soap of the finest quality and is triple-milled to increase the profuseness of the lather. The lather will soften the beard for easier shaving. The bowl is hand-turned in dark wood (Mahogany effect). Wet the beard with warm water, apply the wet shaving brush to the soap, lather up in the bowl and apply to the face. Refill soaps are available and the wooden bowls are treated to last for many years, taking on a character of their own.
MARLBOROUGH SHAVING STICK 
Made of the same superb quality solid soap as used in the wooden bowls. The plastic container with twist up soap makes this item very convenient for traveling.
MARLBOROUGH SHAVING CREAM BOWL 
D. R. Harris Marlborough Shaving Cream is a luxurious, traditional men’s wet shaving product which gives the very best lather. Lightly fragranced with Marlborough, a subtle blend of woods including cedar and sandalwood, this top quality and richly concentrated cream contains a high proportion of glycerine for an extra soothing and moisturizing shave.
MARLBOROUGH AFTERSHAVE 
A recent addition to our range of fragrances, our Marlborough aftershave is a subtle blend of woods including cedar and sandalwood. Designed as a lighter and fresher aftershave than our established Sandalwood scent, it is suitable for everyday use, working particularly well as an evening perfume.
Outlaw Beard Products 
Located in Turner Valley, Alberta and in the heart of cowboy country, our all natural non-synthetic products are hand poured, crafted and packaged for each individual order. With the help of other local craftsmen, designers and suppliers we ensure a quality, Canadian-made alternative for every man.