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Michael Jesso’s Fabulous Derailed

(2 votes)

Over the last few weeks of summer, a major story to come out of Ottawa was the staggering 189,000 local users of the extramarital affair website, Ashley Madison. Ottawa only has 883,000 people living there so those numbers are huge.  The data didn’t stop there though; while Ottawa came in at number one, Calgary came in at number two, and Edmonton number three. This news got me thinking about our own community, so after a few clicks and white lies, I was an Ashley Madison member myself. 

I will start off by saying that the website’s slogan is “Life is Short, Have an Affair”, and it is full of Fort McMurray men and women. There are hundreds of them, all with the box checked “Attached Male seeking Female” or “Attached Female seeking Male”.  There are also plenty of single people on the site as well, but because they are throwing their name into the pot to provide relations to married people, they are just as much to blame.

Now I’m no one to judge anyone; what two consenting adults get up to on their own time is their business....if they’re single.  Where and how it’s now publicly OK to plaster your picture and list off your kinks like a Chinese food order is beyond me, and it doesn’t stop there. Click on “Private Showcase” and without any way of knowing who you really are, these people allow you to see their faces, and in a lot of cases, their dirty bits down below. I suppose if you’re looking for an affair, it’s only right to show what you’re going to be working with.  Believe me when I tell you people have absolutely no shame when it comes to the pictures that they show. It doesn’t end with Ashley Madison either, Tinder and Plenty of Fish are just as bad, although not as out there and in your face.

If you do plan to cheat might I suggest the first thing you do is tell the person you’re about to cheat on. Maybe they will say fine, maybe they will join you, maybe they will pack your bags or theirs, but you were honest and I think that’s the one thing most people want more than anything.

The funny thing with honesty is it always finds a way to peek around the corner just when you least expect it.  I recently had one of my good friends tell me that he started getting messages that his girlfriend was cheating. He confronted her and she denied it.  For months this went on and he even convinced himself that there was no time for her to do it, he convinced himself that it could never add up. Well fast forward a few months later when the jilted lover that she had been fooling around with produced pictures of the happy couple in bed together having a romp.  Now the biggest shock wasn’t the fact that it was another woman, but the fact that she was able to hide it like a stealth bomber.

People have to wake up, if technology can provide you with said affair, technology can bust you with said affair. With computers and smartphones providing a never ending trail of texts and emails it’s easier and easier to trace and track an infidelity.  Married, common law, dating, it doesn’t matter, cheating is cheating. 

The risks go far beyond a breakup or a divorce; you have to take into consideration the STD factor or as they are called now, STI or Sexually Transmitted Infections.  If you think for a second that you are not putting yourself or your partner in the path of Chlamydia, Syphilis, HPV and HIV, think again.  All of those infections and viruses are right here in Fort McMurray and some are on the rise.  You have to remember, if you’re willing to sleep with a complete stranger, who was the stranger they slept with the night before you?

Every one of us has the ability to cheat, but we also have the ability to speak.  Talk to the one you’re with and tell them what you’re missing. If it turns into an argument, it’s a good argument to have. While you may leave that conversation mad and upset at least the seed of “We have problems, we need to talk” is planted.  People are busy and life gets in the way, kids, pets, hockey practice, work, yard work, you name it and it’s all chipping away at your free time.  If you are lucky enough to be in a relationship, it’s going to take work. Make time, get a babysitter, surprise each other, buy some toys, spice it up but most important, be honest with each other.  There are tons of ways to fix a marriage and someone else’s wife or husband is not the tool. 

For more info on STIs visit

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- Photography by Greg Halinda