Arts & Culture(Archives)
Paula Ogonoski is...The Entertainiac
Super Summer of Sequels and Spinoffs
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then this summer must be the movie industry’s biggest suck-ups. It is the Super Summer of Sequels and Spinoffs – say that five times fast. Almost half of the summer releases fall under these categories.
Some of the biggest movie franchises from Mission Impossible, to Terminator to my personal favourite Jurassic Park are back- bigger, better, and in HD! Even Minions and Pan, and Crouching Tigers are making a comeback. Momma always said, “If it ain’t broke don’t fix it,” and it looks like the movie studios took that to heart. Here is just some of what you can expect in the summer of 2015.
The boys are back, but this time on the big screen. Vincent, Eric, Turtle, Johnny and Ari reunite, this time with even more pervasive language, strong sexual content, nudity and drug use. That’s right, we have an R rating here people. The only thing missing from the things we love about the former HBO series is Turtle’s double chin.
Insidious Chapter 3
It’s rare horror movies freak me out more than a good popcorn jump in the theatre, but Insidious was one that kept me up at night. This time evil has its sights set on a teenage girl in this prequel which pre-dates the Lambert family...haunting. Personally I might skip this one; even the trailer has me chickening out.
Two words for you: “trained Velociraptors,” and in 3D! It’s been more than a decade since we last went to the island, but despite this being the fourth in the franchise, I have yet to be disappointed in the Jurassic Park movies. I still get goose bumps when I see a ripple in a glass of water. I have been hooked ever since Steven Spielberg helped bring the Michael Crichton story to life. In this adaptation, the Park is open for business but things go deadly awry when nature finds its way- as to be expected with prehistoric attractions.
Our favourite Thunder Buddy is back- this time looking to have a baby. Ted and his best friend John set out to prove that the newly-wed bear is a person as set in the constitution. With help from his lawyer (Amanda Seyfried), the trio stick it to the man with the usual, yet hilarious high jinks.
Magic Mike XXL
The summer’s getting hot, hot, hot with the return of Channing Tatum and his scantily clad, ab(rrific) pals in Magic Mike XXL. While most don’t likely watch this film for its spectacular plot, there is a little more story in this latest edition, and size does matter. The Myrtle Beach pals hit the road with new moves, and pull their former headliner out of retirement for one last hurrah! The only thing bad about this film is it wasn’t made in 3D. MEOW!
We are going back in the newest addition to the Terminator franchise. Ok this is hard to follow but in the original 1984 Kyle Reese goes to the past to rescue Sarah Connor who gives birth to John Connor who eventually leads the human race to victory! In doing so, Reese fractures the timeline and he is sent back to save mankind again, this time using a familiar enemy to get the job done. When Arnold said 31 years ago he’d be back, I don’t think we thought it would be in 2015 and he would be as badass as ever.
Mission Impossible V
This one has been fairly hush, hush but Ethan Hunt is back with his stealth team of spies including Jeremy Renner, Simon Pegg and Ving Rhames. Included in the ensemble cast is Alec Baldwin in this fifth edition of the small-screen inspired franchise.
The TV people are back, once again getting their hooks into an unsuspecting little girl and her family. This is why suburbia should not be built on a cemetery. Contractors never learn. This is a remake of the 1982 with a fresh-new updated look and attitude. While it brings back a nostalgic tone, I am missing Tangina played by the late Zelda Rubinstein. Without her, I am not placing my bets on this family coming out alive.
The Fantastic Four
Allow me to be blunt, the first two Fantastic Fours were fantastical failures, hopefully the third time will be a charm for what is Marvel’s original and longest-running superhero team. This version of the Fantastic Four has a new cast, and appears to be a darker version of the 2005 and 2007 failures. With acclaimed actress Kate Mara at the helm, I am optimistic.